I am actually quiet nowadays.
That whatever that runs through my mind and heart are too much that it stays in my mind and heart.
For now, I can only afford to think and speak to no one but since God can hear my heart and thoughts, you can say I speak to Him almost all the time. I just cannot seem to do anything else.
Like my life is very busy, yes, but not with anyone or anything that wastes my time.
Sometimes it gets boring y'know so you do alot of things, even sins to liven the quiet moments and times and savour every drop of adrenaline gushing through your veins.
But then, you eventually get tired and dread doing such things but still continue doing the things you didn't have the time to enjoy like catching up on my old ukhrawi subjects. Religion stuff. Basic, I mean. Just as an act of emphasis to whatever I already know.
Sometimes, I practise Mathematics. I'm not THAT bored but better than doing sins, right? Better than hanging out with friends. Better than going to class gatherings. So much better. 'Cause I admit I'm alone but I certainly don't feel lonely.
I find myself to be at peace and normal. No havoc. No drama. Just calmness and thinking about death. It gets depressing but having the happiest life won't guarantee my life in the hereafter anyway.
I find happiness in myself and thoughts and if I miss anyone, I will wait and hold it off until I really miss him or her and schedulise a meet-up. Hey. Even if I'm not busy with friends, doesn't mean I'm not busy with my family.
So I am a normal teenager. Just like everybody else.
Till then. (:
