Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Dear Ex-BestFriend,

I'd like to take this opportunity to elaborate my side of the story.
Maybe, one day, you'll come to understand just like how you've come to terms about me not wanting to talk to you.

This is how I see it:

I don't care if you care about me or not.
I don't care if you love me as much as I do or not.
All I care about is what I have placed with you; my trust.
My belief in who you are.
My love to the person I thought you were.

I introduced someone to you, in the hope that you'd get better when I realised this.
I didn't choose just anyone but I chose the best of the best.
In terms of beauty and in terms of strength.
She's strong to hold down any tidings though she might not look like it.
Strong enough to distract you from me so you wouldn't notice my dissappearance in the midst of everything.
Yet YOU managed to hurt her.
And I had to come back and help straighten things out.

I even told her she could leave.
Like I told you not to hurt her.

But 'cause we both loved you, we both stayed.
And when we heard the problems you keep 'unconsciously' making, I told her straight out that she could leave and she said smilingly that it was okay.
While her eyes say differently and her actions speak accordingly.
I was angry.

And when you disturbed my other junior, I was more than angry.

I'm sorry to say this but she isn't as strong as the one you had.
She wouldn't stand the act of being-there-only-to-be-gone-the-next.
Nobody is to hurt her.
Not because I favour her but because you should use your brain.
She might be older than the other but she's still very fragile.
'Cause she lost alot as she grew old.
And I'm not about to let you ruin what she has been doing for herself:
Getting over things.
You'll just be a problem whether you like it or not.
It's up to you if you see it as, me choosing her over you 'cause you know that ain't true.

As for me, personally,
I left you 'cause I love you.
I didn't mean to do it so abruptly.
Even after you tried to be nice and talk to me.

This time, it's not to care for anyone else's heart.
It's my own decision.

Hate me if you must.
I'll even make you hate me if you still look my way.
'Cause all I was just doing is stop repeating the same cycle over and over again.

I hate seeing you this way.
And I hate me having to fight with you all the time.
Having to hurt you like feelings don't matter at all.
Aren't you tired?
I just don't want to get hurt.
And I don't want you hurt either.
I have my own problems and so do you.
I'd really love to be with you like we used to, eh?
But I think, that it'd be better this way.
It was even a good time to leave you too.
If anything happens, there'll be other people to cushion you if you fall.

Don't tell me I abandoned you or something like that.
I made sure you had a rope to hold onto so you wouldn't get lost when I'm gone.
Every single time.

Don't you believe me when I say that I will always love you?

Funny how I can be a lady of my words but you, as a man, can't.