Monday, April 2, 2012


So these are remnants of my past which apparently, I didn’t send out and I don’t really know why I didn’t as it was darn good.
I opened the whole letter and I realised how foolish I was to have not opened it any sooner!
It’s filled with things which I find beautifully phrased.

Have a look:

-          It's not a debate. It's a 'problem'. Look it up in the dictionary, it's a popular word people like you don't like to use everyday.


-          I'm not always mad. I'm not always unsatisfied. I'm not always bad. Can you stop misunderstanding me? Why're people thinking that I'm giving you a hard time. Can't they see that I'm struggling with you? Why can't they see that I'm beaten low and down and I'm letting people step on me? I'm letting YOU step on me. I've never beaten my pride and humbled myself like this. I was always the one who'd come crawling back with you towering above just because I didn't want you hurt. I was always the one to say sorry, I was always the one to start resolving matters.

-          Why must you be defiant? Why must you think that people are always trying to corner you? For God's sake, I'm your close friend. I don't intend to kill you.

-          Is it that hard to just ask me, ''what's wrong?''. I didn't ask for people to decipher me.

-          As much as I like people to remind me if I made a mistake, you shouldn't be unaccepting of these.

-          You've succeeded in winning my pity for you. Can’t you see what God’s given you?

-          If you're going to continue prioritising your pride, I understand now that I was never a part of your pride.

-          I write things here for you to not only read but I want you back. I don't want this brat. At least, stop being so cruel with that mouth of yours.

-     I'm just going to be alone until someone comes up and shine the day for me. I'm just going to get on with life and accept the fact that you took the very ones that would call me up or message me just to check on me..the ones that'll pat me on the back and say 'hey!' when I'm alone. Whatever it is, I want you happy. If you think being insolent is making you happy, fine with me. If you think taking them away from me and what?-parading them in front of me's going to make you happy, do it. I just want you happy. I honestly do. No matter how many times I scream to say that I care, I shouldn't.

-     P.s. Like you said, ''you were never like this,''. So stop saying I've changed because I've begun to get back up. The new you's holding me down so I'm very well sure to say by now that you understand why I said ''I lost you,'' then...I lost you to yourself.

Actually, I don’t mind sharing this. It’s supposed to be private I assume as the matter regarding so is private but hey, I was the author not any one of you.
I find that whenever I write with feelings, it usually comes across passionately so it magnifies the feelings I was trying to portray to the readers.
Like here, I was angry and hurt so instead of the letter being just a heart-out letter, it became a harsh one too.

the person who it was for deserved it.
I still think so.
And the person still deserves it even now.
Not out of anger or anything but what I wrote,
this person just fits the bill.